I have to be honest
I guess I just have to be honest. The truth will always come out and the truth I believe will set me free.
I haven’t actually done my part. I was rejected before and I took those rejections personal telling myself that I’m a failure. Because of those rejections, I ended up in my comfort zone again. In that place where I thought I feel secured. In that place where I could simply sleep off the responsibility of being in this business, this venture I am in. In that place where I feared growth and opportunity because by allowing myself to grow and to take the opportunity, I’ll have to take the risks and accept the challenge which I know will eventually lead me to success. But no, I decided to fall back, step aside and do nothing. I didn’t allow myself to take in all the good things God has in store for me because I turned away from growing and the opportunity. And now, I have to face the consequences. I have to double my efforts because I let myself go back to my comfort zone. I have to simply spring out away from my comfort zone. This time, I really have to face reality, to face this responsibility that I have ventured in to. I just simply have to do it.
Because if I quit, what would that make me as a person? I wouldn’t want that in the future I will introduce myself as a quitter. I want to introduce myself as a finisher. That I endured all these challenges and ended up victorious because this is what was really in store for me.
wow. thanks for this twin. it’s like how i perceive emotions. we can feel the emotion. like being sad, depressed, down and all. but we shouldn’t let our emotions drive our lives. especially the negative ones. because we end up hurting. :)
That dark place. Again.
Every time I feel I failed or I fell I am failing, I end up going back to that dark place. That dark place of emptiness. Trying to cover up my failure. Trying to fill in my tank with
“fake” love. Trying to feel good by doing negative things that I hate myself for doing. That dark place where I sulk in every negative emotion. Feel that I am a failure. I AM A BIG FAILURE. That what I’m currently doing is too big for me. That I won’t succeed. That I won’t end up victorious.
I hate going back to that place. But I am in that place right now. I feel worthless. It feels like a big FAILURE is stamped in my forehead for the world to see that I failed. That I didn’t stand by my decisions. That I didn’t work hard enough to succeed.
I try to make myself better. I’m listening to music that I hope will get me better. I just hate this. I hate this place but I just keep on going back. Definitely hindering me of becoming an accelerator. I just want it to end. I just want to vent.